Changes

Aaron and I have made some life changes during the past few weeks. Aaron was offered a position as youth and family minister in a town closer to my family and we have decided to accept it. While we are sad to be leaving our current church family and wish we could bring them all with us, we are excited about the new opportunity and new chapter in our lives.


So the process begins...I think the hardest part will be selling our house. Especially on today's market. But it won't be just selling the house, it will be leaving it. Leaving the nursery we made for Noah, leaving the memory garden behind. But it will probably be good for us as well, a chance for a fresh start.
I will also be looking for a new job, which is another challenge but I'll find one somewhere


Please continue to pray for us, not only for our continued healing but for things to go smoothly as we start this new chapter. Also prayers for our church family at Central as they begin looking for someone to replace Aaron, we know that God has great things planned for Central and for us!

A Year Ago Tomorrow

The end of July is a hard time for me. Two years ago at the end of July we found out about and lost our first baby. Tomorrow on the 28th will have been one year since we found out I was pregnant with Noah. I've contemplated whether I wanted to share this, but this is one of our happy memories of our time with Noah and I want to share. The happy moments were few and every one of them precious. So here is something I wrote to Noah while pregnant with him. I wrote it after we had found out his condition and wanted to make sure I could look back on our memories. I know I would appreciate extra prayers to make it through tomorrow. Thank you to every one who continues to keep us in your prayers.

Noah,

You came into our lives on Wednesday, July 28, 2010. You were here before then but that was the day I learned I had you. Your daddy and I had been waiting for you for so long. After two miscarriages and then months with no luck we were beginning to think you would never come. And then there you were.

I got home from church that night before your daddy so I went ahead and took the test to find out if you were here.  Those were the best positive pink lines I had ever seen. I sat there looking at that test and just started crying and praying; praying that you would stick around, that the test wouldn’t turn negative if I took it again.

After the shock wore off, I began to scheme about how to tell your daddy about you. I had been watching an old TV show for a while, The Dick Van Dyke Show, and I remembered an episode where Laura tells Rob that she’s pregnant. Among the funny lines, she breaks it to him by saying “Well, the rabbit died.” At first I didn’t understand what she meant but I looked up that phrase and it was used a long time ago as a way of saying someone was pregnant. I remembered that I had told your daddy about that episode, so I decided to use that line to see if he remembered what it meant. When your daddy walked through the front door, I was sitting on the couch. I told him that I had had an interesting evening when I got home. He asked me, “What happened?” I said my line, “The rabbit died.” Did he remember what that line meant? No he didn’t. He looked at me with a confused look and said, “What?” I laughed and said again, “The rabbit died,” and held up that positive test. Your daddy got one of the biggest grins on his face I had ever seen. He looked at me and said, “When you said that, I thought Kletus (our dog) had caught a rabbit and killed it!” We both laughed and just sat there with each other, excited that you were here, and scared about losing you like we had lost your other siblings. That was such a wonderful night Noah. That night I was blessed with you and you are one of the best blessings I have ever known.

Love,

Your Momma

Noah's Snowflakes

I'm starting something new. I've been making these little snowflake ornaments in memory of Noah. I love to crochet so I'm enjoying getting to do something that I love in memory of my son. I've decided to start sharing my hobby with everyone. Right now I have a set of little snowflakes for sale. They are $2.50 each, 5 for $10, or the entire set for $16. I will be adding more things later but this is a start. Here is the link to the album: Little Snowflakes Instructions for ordering can be found on the album!

I Will Not Say Goodbye

This song says so many things I can't.

Always a Mother

I will never hold him close

Or rock him late at night

I will never comfort when he cries

Or feel his hand squeeze tight.

I will never watch him walk,

Smile, laugh, or play.

I will never hear him talk,

Or see him grow each day.

While you will never see me

With the child that might have been,

I will always be a mother

My baby is in heaven.