When Words Fail

First of all I apologize if you are expecting to hear from E tonight. She is currently in the hospital bed recovering from her c-section. So, you guessed it this is her husband A. With that out of the way we will continue to what is important, Noah. As a father, there are really no words that can possibly describe the feeling you have when you see your child for the first time. As I saw Dr. S pull Noah into this world I could do nothing but shed a tear. Knowing and seeing how precious he is alleviates many worries. Unfortunately not long after he was brought into this world he had to be placed on a respirator. At first his body was not absorbing oxygen, that problem later went away. At first his heart beat was about half of what it should be, that problem went away later. The one problem he has that still remains, he lacks the volume in his chest cavity to take a deep enough breath to sustain his own life. Thus he remains on the respirator. As a few hours past today our neonatologist met us in our room. He spoke words that as a father you never want to hear "Your son's condition is not compatible with life." I would try to describe to you this feeling, but words fail. So I am sitting in E's room tonight knowing that Noah's life is 100% dependent on a machine breathing for him. The neonatologist took x-rays of Noah and confirmed our worst fears, Noah IS as bad as the ultrasounds had made his condition out to be. His official diagnosis, Osteogenesis Imperfecta type II.

E and I have talked out our plans. We have decided to wait until E feels strong enough physically to go and see Noah. After we get to hold him and be a family for a short-time, we will have the respirator removed. We have known for quite a while that Noah's future was in God's hands. We knew if he wasn't coming home with us, he would go to his eternal home with God. We still have him for a few hours. Then God will bring him home. We are blessed to have such a wonderful group of friends and family for support. When I came into the waiting room after being asked to leave the NICU for an x-ray i found myself surrounded by a large host of family and friends. In total including myself and my dad there were 12 ministers present, 10 from the city. and too many brother's and sisters in Christ for me to recall. The day has been such a blur and it is still hard to imagine that it is reality.

Noah Red Austin came into this world at 1:35 pm March 24, 2011, a day I will never forget. A day that has changed my life forever. He weighed 4lbs 11 oz, which is bigger than he was expected to weigh. He is 13.5 inches long. He has a head full of dark hair like his momma. He has a wide nose like his dad. He is more beautiful than I ever could have imagined.

I would also like to take this opportunity to thank anyone and everyone that has said a prayer on our behalf, I am indebted to you for your love and kindness. I would like to thank any and everybody who were here at the hospital for support. The numerous cards have been a blessing. The texts, calls, messages on facebook, and all other encouragement have been greatly treasured. I do ask that you continue to keep us in your prayers. I love you all. May God bless you.